Week 14: The Bracket is Set

Welcome to the playoffs! Like checking the CFB rankings, maybe you're elated with your spot...or maybe you're like me and you're still screaming for Ryan Day to lose his job.

Either way, we're here!

From the bottom of my broken heart, I can definitely say that fantasy football is NOT real life. It's just a game, right? A cold, brutal and exhausting game that has the potential to drain the life from your soul like a Morgul blade wound. Frodo will never be the same, and after these last three seasons, neither will RawbPeeple.

In all seriousness, congrats to everyone that made the playoffs. That's something worth celebrating. This was a tight and competitive season, and only two teams finished under 1500 total points. Also, Thanos be proud! Perfectly balanced as all things should be. Four teams in both the East AND West landed a spot in the playoff bracket. Now, what about everyone else? You know, the ones who DIDN'T make playoffs. Well, we have a consolation ladder to avoid drinking Malört and hawking a tuah meme coin sickness into a toilet bowl (great trophy though I must say). Since I'm a personal fan of the Jeppson's Chicago drank, I'll pray that Jalen Hurt slips on some ice on his way to practice before their Pittsburgh game.

Let's recap and taste test some playoff matchups, shall we? (after a note from our commish)

Playoff Brackets:

Let’s take a look at our official road to Mordor and who will be playing for the worst team in the league! Graphics will be updated for the remainder of the playoffs.

BANNERS TO BE HUNG:

With the end of the regular season we also get to display new banners for those who achieved excellence at the end of the year. With no shock with how their historic season went, congrats to Jess and the Detroit Lines on winning both the Aragorn Crown (Best Regular Season Record) and the Eastern division!!

And congratulations to Tom and the Beerserkers who picks up his third Western division title in five seasons! Now let’s see that playoff win.

Philadelphia Smeagles v. Spaghetti Mafia:

What a finish for the angel hair gangsters. A strategy of pure relentless sales outreach paid off for the mafia as he was still able to hold off an Isaac SF pop-off game with respectable Kupp and Montgomery outings. But it was a Sam Darnold epic QB performance that really solidified the eighth seed for him. A good floor game is what it takes, and this team has show it has the cannoli's to compete late into the season!

Our Smeagles finish at 13th in the standings with just a hair behind Jimmy in total points scored. It's hard to write this narrative, folks. Hopefully, Smeagle gets to have a winning record at least in time for the new Gollum movie that everyone is so excited to see. He'll look to have some handcuff-Isaac-like performances in his lineup to avoid sinking into the warm embrace of a toilet bowl trophy.

Playoff Preview - One man enters while the other falls into a Mt Doom lava pit!

Mafia is taking on the juggernaut in the first week of the playoffs. She's averaging 135 points per game! That's a crazy mark for any team to hit. Like spaghetti on the wall, the mob has thrown everything they have at every weekly matchup in our fair league. It's possible he does win a shootout out here. But can the number one seed really be sent back to the Shire after just one week in the bracket?

Haribo Lecter v. The Algorithm:

The gummy bears are marching off to the playoffs! Even with a Jayden Reed bagel, Haribo made sure to make a statement with Puka Nacua leading a blitzkrieg against the machines. Looks like AI didn't have all the answers after all (not this year at least). I'll at least give the man an organic round of applause and pat on his metallic back, is that titanium? Jordan Addison, Rachaad, and CeeDee all put up an incredible fight. If CeeDee had a few more catches he would've shifted up the Fellowship's standings quite a bit. As it stands, it's kinda funny to see the nickname princess trump automated intellect. Maybe we should all play with the joy that the gummy bears play with every week? (Disclaimer: I have to be nice. I live with her.)

Playoff Preview - Have the lambs stopped screaming, Algorithm?

And so ends the title defense of our dear Terminator. His team could never quite find the ceiling it needed to get a chance to defend last year's belt. To be fair, who expected the Cowboys to be THIS bad? The consolation bracket could get competitive here if Algorithm sinks lower. On the winning side of the bracket we have Haribo. She's going up against the Dom! Her team can unpredictably find a high ceiling thanks to some boom or bust WRs (looking right at you Jayden Reed). She'll primarily need her RB trio to hit hard to keep those projections accurate against a MVP caliber Josh Allen.

Detroit Lines v. LuLu Lemons:

With Davante, JSN, and Tracy doing a solid job of keeping the floor up for the Lemons - I really thought that this matchup would've ended up differently. Nevertheless, unlike the real city, Detroit keeps winning! Henry was on BYE, but it didn't matter since a steady floor RB game mixed with solid QB and WR play led to another 130 plus ceiling game. The real story continues to be the Steelers defense. They haven't scored under 7 points for Jess since week four! That really helps with consistent production seeing how GB's defense only netted a single point for LuLu in this head to head.

Playoff Preview - Detroit's got that dog in her!

Both of these teams already clinched a spot before this matchup. Of course, we've teased the Detroit-Mafia game next week. It helps to look at Jess' team like this: Christian Watson is her REAL TE as he only averages 8 points a week. Darnell Mooney has sneakily landed as a top 15 WR so far this regular season. While she used to have Diggs in her WR room, she's still only failed to score over 120 points three separate weeks (Weeks 2, 10, and 13). She would draw either Haribo or Bodega if she were to beat Mafia. LuLu will be playing friend and neighbor from just down the road. Gooning and LuLu both lost in their last week. For LuLu to have the best chance it's pretty simple: pray that Chase has a low floor game. Of course, he'll need his players to do well, but if Chase has another huge week AND Gooning's other roster maximizes its value then this matchup goes to Tony. Also, Jerry Jeudy's been a top 10 WR caliber player since Winston's been under center for the Browns.

Gooning with All Mahomies v. Beerserkers:

Another near win! Tony would have gone up in the seeding here, but the Beerserkers just scraped by with Tyreek and Josh Jacobs doing enough to hold the Chase sky high performance at bay. Seriously, I know we're harping here but this year's been so low for WRs that Chase almost has 100 points more than the second place receiver (JJ for the Vikes at 239.18 points). Fellowship heroes have to make due this year with production coming from anywhere. If Gooning had someone not named Raheem Mostert then he may have been able to make up the four points lost here to the Beerserkers.

Playoff Preview - One man beats his meat, while the other crushes Malört yelling, "YEET"!

With the overall number two seed, the Beerserkers draw the Sacks in the City. A potentially scary matchup if Justin Jefferson can have a big game at home with the Bears coming to Minnesota. Still, Tom has the better RB room, and he arguably has the less dangerous side of the bracket as he looks to finally make a name for himself in the Fellowship playoff history books. Gooning's secret weapon, meanwhile, draws a tough secondary matchup against the Titans. It's possible that Kenneth Walker comes back to help upset LuLu, but the Seahawk hasn't eclipsed 20 points since week seven. Get your popcorn ready. I know Tony's bringing the butter.

Stroud Boys v. RawbPeeple:

Oh my. Well, this wasn't good for either of these squads. Despite being a consistent scorer for most of the year, Rawb's team failed to hit 100 points for the first time this season. Like the Bengals, though, this team had a lot of falls in spite of some flash here and there. Wan'Dale wasn't the same in the back half of the season, and Westbrook-Ikhine couldn't keep the TD streak alive. A Thielen start last week COULD have made this interesting, but the wins and losses still wouldn't have gone the right way for Rawb and, of course, Stroud Boys. At .500 after two solid weeks, Ron still missed a spot in the playoffs since Mafia had 30 more total points scored over the course of the season. These two teams will hang their heads and face-off again next week.

Playoff Preview - Two once contenders fight for their pride.

RawbPeeple and Stroud Boys will fight to keep away from the dreaded Toilet Bowl. Stroud looks to be the favorite here, catching hot a little too late in the regular season. Rawb's seemingly trending in the opposite direction with injuries at TE and some boom or bust flex players being littered throughout his lineup. Chin up boys. You're faring better than some of the barrel bottom teams.

Bodega Cat vs. McConkey Kong:

And speaking of barrels, the ape's been pretty tame lately. Kong needed strong performances to help her case and everyone not named Charbonnet let her down. Josh Allen went absolutely bananas. Waddle also picked the right time to find his groove in the Dolphins offense. The Bodega Cat mentality wins out again! An epic performance means that the football felines get another crack at three total Fellowship titles. While we'll pour out a glass of milk for our fallen Kong comrades, let's take a look at the next week for these managers.

Playoff Preview - Cat scratch fever puts down the eighth wonder of the world.

The Cats are at it again! A classic playoff matchup, and a rematch of a championship bout from the first Bodega title; this time things are a bit different. These teams are very similar in total PF, but Haribo's team of odd names can really climb high when they reach their ceiling. Dom has the edge at QB, so if his team can just pull their weight this week he has a chance to slip through and most likely face the scourge of the league and the Midwest: Detroit Lines. McConkey, meanwhile, must fend off the Algorithm to avoid sliding ever further down in the loser's bracket. A place where Gollums and Jimmies wait to drown unsuspecting former contenders. It's a fate worse than death.

Sacks in the City vs. Jimmy Da Kid:

It was rough pretty much all season for Sacks, but her team made it! Like a strong 6.5 in a New York City bar, she's doing everything she can to get by. The Tua pickup has really done this team a big favor, pumping up the floor so that an inevitable Justin Jefferson pop-off can be the real difference maker. Jimmy looked like a pretty good squad floating into this week, but too many holes ultimately capsized him during the journey. Pacheco was nothing special in his return these past two weeks either. We hate to say better luck next year just yet, so instead we'll wish him well to hold off the toilet bowl from entering his possession. That's nine straight losses and a MacSucken' for the rookie! Yowzers.

Playoff Preview - The kids are not all right, Samantha.

Color me jealous. Sacks did just enough these past two weeks to land at the seventh seed (quick, no one look at that third to last finish in PF...please Ron and Katie just don't look). Look, someone's gotta luck out and draw the lowest PA in the league and it might as well be this team! All shade aside from a salty sea pirate manager, Sacks does have a resurgent Tua and a second place regular season WR to fill that lineup. It's going to take those two players and more to pull the upset against the Beerserkers next week. And, lest we not forget, our dear Jimmy. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. You were supposed to be the chosen one! Not the MacSucken' one! He's got the sliver of an edge against Josh in terms of PF but sheee-ooot! It's that loss record that puts our boy in the not-so-coveted Vegas betting odds favorite spot to win the terlet bowl. Godspeed my brother in Christ. I'll be right there in that bracket with you praying that I keep that trophy, nestled safe and warm under my fake Christmas tree.

A recap and a preview! It's an early Christmas gift delivered right to your inbox. Leave us unread and we'll send you a lump of coal - no Dak Prescott contracts for you!

Thanks to everyone who set their lineup each and every week this regular season. It means a lot, and it's also more fun when we're all trying to kill each other. Wherever you ended up in the standings, just remember that fantasy football is all fun and games until Rawb gets hurt </3

Happy Playoffs!