Week 17: Our Journey Comes to an End

Happy New Year Fellowship! And happy belated recap too! I know, I know. We're all getting back into the swing of things after a much-needed holiday break. I hope that we all can find some warmth and solace in watching the college football playoffs AND the NFL playoffs without needing to set our lineups and chew our fingernails off in anticipation.

So one more time, let's talk about our newly crowned 2024 championship and give out some awards to the players we thought would take us to the promise land! Hit 'em with some of those dragons, GRRM! Off you go so we can stop writing these recaps, and so you can help develop an Elden Ring sequel before finishing Winds of Winter.

LuLu Lemons vs. Bodega Cats:

A historic fellowship matchup if there ever was one! The Bodega Cats were looking to capture three total titles with a victory here, while LuLu was finally in the season finale since the "I Am Inevitable" days *pre-pandemic. In the past two weeks, LuLu was RED HOT. This time? Well, a win's a win let's say. Huge congratulations to LuLu on his second title. My former partner in crime, Bucky Irving, was the MVP of the championship game for the victor. Apparently, I was not with him till the end of the line. Even if we are playing with a very specific "if you ain't first-you better not be toilet bowl last" set of rules, I think the Bodega Cat mentality is still strong with this team. Injuries to Waddle, Godwin, and James Conner late in the hunt hurt the odds here, yet it wasn't a bad showing when looking at the whole kit and caboodle of Bodega's season. Both of these team captains will look to potentially continue their winning ways into next season. Who will be stronger and take that triple Fellowship crown? The cat...or the dog? Good job gentleman - may you continue to kill my Fellowship trophy aspirations with your combined playoff consistency.

The Philadelphia Smeagles vs. McConkey Kong:

I would say matchup of the week, but it has been a lot of author's choice trending toward the loser bracket games here, huh? What can I say! It's on the players and coordinators out there! Stop with all of these lopsided games so we can have more entertaining fantasy matchups. Are you reading me Roger?! So let's actually talk about the more entertaining matchup here. Josh was coming into a tantalizing opportunity here: avoid another toilet bowl despite the underperforming regular season. Katie was on a weeks long losing streak, so one might've figured that she was BOUND to score over 100 points. The fantasy football gods provided! Unfortunately, the Smeagles, also a historically low scoring team, had just enough juice to narrowly avoid a toilet bowl in the eleventh hour. Brock and Kelce both jumped into a time machine for Josh. Calvin Ridley didn't completely shit himself either! Meanwhile, Katie couldn't get Joe Mixon, AJ Brown or even DK to score half of what Ertz put down after gunning it to 88 in his own Delorean (AJ barely makes that threshold but still!). The real Kong enemy this week goes to the Dallas kicker. Way to drop your plunger mid flush Aubrey. The Lions defense didn't do our girl any favors either. Thanks for fighting valiantly McConkey Kong. I am truly sorry it has come to this. At least the Malört will be served by your husband.

We will do some quick hits for the rest of the league here as it's more consolation than anything. I know we all crave to read about how much our team didn't have the sauce to win it all.

Beerserkers: It remained pretty tough for our Viking drinkers. Malört and a bottle of Maker's weren't enough to carry the full team above 120. Jayden Daniels turned in another solid BOOM performance, and Brian Thomas Jr probably helped boost his ADP for the 2025 draft.

Spaghetti: These Italians really took a bite out of crime. While he couldn't pop at the right time of the season, Zach's crew looked sharp as ever this week. Ladd and Gibbs combined for over 50 points, showing the potential they both have in their skill positions. Question: does Sam Darnold finish in the top ten of quarterbacks next season? The mafia proved this season that risk taking can take you into the playoffs.

Sacks: Last year's runner-up couldn't muster up much fight this late in the campaign. But holy Marvin Mims Jr Batman! How high are we on Broncos receivers next season? They go as high as Bo goes apparently. Overall, let's hope that next season Sacks has more higher impact players that won't change the channel on her from game to game.

Detroit: Barkley for MVP! While she did peter out at the end, it was a nonetheless impressive regular season. Burrow and Henry one-two punched together to help the Lines walk away with their heads held high. It's hard to get a complete roster in a 14 man league. I'll speak for at least some of us: a team with two bell cow backs was a nice treat to see after so many down RB seasons.

Gooning: The Mahomies called it with Chase! Chase finished the season with 127 receptions for 1,708 yards and 17 touchdowns. He led the league and set a whole bunch of Bengals franchise records. We all laughed at Tony, but the guy had some crystal ball for sure. In spite of the valiant effort, the Bengals couldn't get a wild card spot. And Tony couldn't get passed his Cardinal rival and boyhood chum. Jeudy and Nix kept things competitive too. The load was blown weeks ago though as the team couldn't reach the peak the manager craved.

Haribo: These bears are looking pretty domesticated right about now. McBride and Nacua played with ferocity. Jayden Reed? Not so much. Look, I live with Abby, and even I can't get her to start DeVonta Smith. Even just at the flex! One wonders if Haribo's nicknames will be her Moby Dick. The sea might just claim her one season in the near future as she continues to chase one weird player after another.

RawbPeeple and Stroud Boys: Rawb almost got another 100 piece in him with Hurts on the bench this week. And it's all thanks to you, Adam Thielen. It was an up and down season for de Rawblinsss, and some mistakes on waiver for the league vet. He did make some strong draft choices, but he'll need to find that next gear in order to avoid another missed playoff season run next year. I will say loudly, and stroudly, that Ron's team deserved a chance. With Nabers and Bijan returning to form, and even a strong Mike Evans (as he gets older too) was a beautiful sight to see. Here's hoping that the Stroud Boys can come back with an even stronger second stint, although in my eyes he's proved that he can compete with the best of dem hobbits.

The Algorithm and Jimmy the Kid: Machines couldn't reach the heights of a Stroud this week, and the kid showed everyone that there's still a puncher's chance with a Jimmy if he's in the ring. Tee Higgins and JT should do this every week though, eh? I'll say the same for LaPorta. Look, we all spend money in some form to watch all of these professionals do their thing. I get that defenses still play every Sunday, but here's to next season and some more consistency for some of these guys.

It's been a wild ride, guys and gals. Just when we thought that WRs and QBs were taking over--we got halftime adjusted! That's how evil in Middle-Earth works...it kills the magic. At least it will make all of our drafting next year that much more unpredictable.

Once again, happy new year everyone! Thanks for playing and setting your lineups. Whether you're a machine or an orange cat, I'm happy to speak you all as friend as we enter our eighth year next season. I'll see you all in the Shire!