Week 6: Luck O' the Irish

Another glorious week of football is in the books. Although I might be in Ireland, my heart is in the Fellowship. So let's take a look at what went down in Week 6.

The Algorithm vs Philadelphia Smeagles:

Can Trevor coast his way to a 12-2 season? If Josh has anything to say about it... Then it's a yes. After a huge win over Zach last week, the Smeagles entered this matchup deflated. What happened to the Smeagle that would bite a finger off for the ring? Trevor's rather average 115 points turned into this beatdown of the week, as the Algorithm systematically broke Josh with solid performances from DK Metcalf and the Denver defense. The Bake Show and a Cooper Kupp touchdown couldn't resurrect Smeagles' army of the dead that barely broke 80 points. This was extra salt in Josh wound, as CMC is having a career season under Trevor after burying Josh's dreams last year. Reconnecting with an Ex is often painful, just ask Ben Affleck.

Jimmy da Kid vs Rawbpeople:

Congratulations to Jimmy for getting married. And congrats to Rawbpeeple for pulling out the W! Rob came back swinging after a significant others week slump. BTJ is finally starting to return some value, while Jimmy's Fantasy value pack of Mahomes, and Rachaad White put up almost 50 points combined. Rob was drowning in the cauldron of lost souls amid the projection ghosts of Josh Allen, Devanta Smith and Tony Pollard. Suddenly, Kimani Vidal called out from the Waiver Wire,"Get up, you're not a person! You're a Rawblin!". Suddenly, Rob entered Rusty mode, rocking his Hobrawblin rivalry jersey. Ja'marr Chase and Tyler Warren morphed into prime form, while Eddie Piñero shot out of the cauldron, kicking Jimmy directly in the nuts. Rawb now retains a fighting chance to make the playoffs, while Jimmy is knocked off his perch atop the West.

Average Boes vs Bodega Cat:

After a disappointing Week 3, Ron has proved his Boes are anything but pedestrian. Dom had the luxury of not playing his bench (yikes) with vintage JT leading the commissioner's corps. to a decent 111. But even an 18 point Raiders Defense couldn't stop the Boes relentless RB combo of Josh Jacobs and Rico Dowdle, who racked up almost 67 points combined. The Cats just couldn't catch a break, as Kendre Miller couldn't spell Alvin Kamara amid trade rumors. Ron has now won 3 in a row, while Dom makes his team do chug revolvers as punishment.

McConkey Kong vs Lulu Lemons:

This one was a rumble in the jungle, as Queen Kong took on Viet Cong. Katie entered the rat tunnels, only to get bushed by a T&T blast: Teteroa McMillan and Trey McBride. The recoil was fierce, but Nick Foll managed to kick a grenade away, while the U.S. McCarthy corps. had a secret weapon: 19.7 points worth of Kendrick Bourne (didn't expect that in 2025, huh?). It was an all out firefight underground. It was then that Charlie, I mean Alex, unveiled his Bijan Robinson mech suit, the highest scoring player this week at over 37 points! And what kept him at bay? G. I. Williams (painted nails included) sealed the W for Katie. Lulu retreats to Hanoi with a sour 2-4, while Katie is at 4-2, unprecedented for the Kongdom.

Movie Chef vs Beerserkers:

Tony came into this matchup hungry for a win, but with the odds stacked against him. Heading into Monday, Ratatouille was backed into a chef's hat, and dished out a Drake London career game, paired with a rare Tyler Algeier touchdown. Now the Beerserkers were the ones on their back foot, the minutes ticking away as the Fighting Foodons served up a beatdown (does anyone else remember that weird, food themed Pokemon knock off?). But D'Andre Swift met the moment, popping in his Blue Chew to deliver a 55-yard receiving touchdown! Tony was inches away from his first win of the season, and now enters Week 7 even hungrier.

Haribo Lecter vs Detroit Lines:

Suck off alert! Both rosters headed into this wife war like husbands dragged to a shopping mall. Haribo's team must've had CBD gummies before this matchup, as JSN's 31 point couldn't even support an entire slate of under performers. The Lines weren't much better, but decent showings from Daniels, St. Brown and Olave helped provide the rubber to this road of mediocrity. Abigail not only loses this matchup, but possibly loses Puka for a bit. It's a good thing she'll probably find someone else with a silly name that randomly pops off.

Spaghetti Mafia vs Sacks in the City:

Alyssa gets revenge, Italian style. After losing to him last year, Sacks in the City managed to put her best foot forward with a stellar Devon Achane performance. Zach's other rookie running back Cam Skattebo almost matched it, while a Jameson Williams gamble actually paid off. But besides the Rams defense, the rest of the Spaghetti Mafia turned out to be a bunch of informants, with Sacks in the City ultimately laying down the law. Zach's team looks a lot more like Spaghetti Medical, with his top 3 picks are out, with a total of 6 having some sort of an injury designation.

The Algorithm remains at the top of both the League and the East, as no one can out-caluculate his reign of terror. Meanwhile, My Beerserkers have now found themselves at the top of the West. But that's a short-lived post, as its changed hands every week for the past 3 weeks. Week 6 was fun and all, but it's just a warm up for the Battle for Middle Earth (or Wasteland in this case). That's right, East will take on West to prove whose the best division. Losers send a video of a shot of Malort. Here's a preview of next week:

• Beerserkers vs Detroit Lines

• Philadelphia Smeagles vs Rawbpeople

• Bodega Cat vs Lulu Lemons

• McConkey Kong vs the Algorithm

• Sacks in the City vs Movie Chef

• Average Boes vs Spaghetti Mafia

• Haribo Lecter vs Jimmy da Kid

Good luck, check the injury report and I'll see you on Byepocalyse!

Sláinte,

Tom